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All This Has Happened Before, And All This Will Happen Again
Evidence Of Life
Created on 2005-06-02 20:03:38 (#7311058), last updated 2009-07-09
10,653 comments received, 12,119 comments posted
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2,907 Journal Entries, 512 Tags, 569 Memories, 200+ ScrapBook Files, 4 Virtual Gifts, 115 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Cylon Key |
|---|---|
| Location: | new york, New York, United States |
| Website: | my little corner of the world |
BioTell me - when did ambition stop being a sin and start being a virtue? - "The Other Boleyn Girl"
Ah, love. Why cut yourself when you can be in love? - "Skins"
my life is not a race to the finish line. it is just moments strung together like a rosary stretched across my fingers as they bleed ink and breathe life across an empty page. i love lip gloss sticky kisses and holding hands. i believe in fairy tales. i believe in the dark calm at the bottom of the ocean and the thrill of dancing with the waves. i treasure human connection above all else. i live to push the limits, to see how far things can go. music is essential and film and literature are my life. i am a dreamer, a writer, a capturer of images, a future maker of films and a student of life. i love friends and i love words and i love love and i love life (just not always mine) and i love animals and i love happy, romantic things even if they're cheezy. i'm too idealistic and i have crazy mood swings and a bad temper and am overly sensitive and i'm overly affectionate sometimes. also, i'm kindof lazy and directionless, but i am finding my way through this life slowly in a day by day type way. i can seem really overdramatic but i just feel too much.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's just too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. - American Beauty
Today I thought of you when writing about shamans and medicine men for school. They talk of the power of the "wounded healer"- the one who dares to bare their soul, who feels the pull to do so, to guide others through the twilight to dawn. It is the wounded healer who knows the blood of the people, and isn't afraid to show that they too are bleeding. That is their tincture, their medicine. Maybe that's what we are. Maybe the medicine is in the revealing, the baring of scraped knees and bruised hearts.
***
I don't want to live in the conventional way. I don't really want to live the way grown-ups do, the way we we are trying to live now - with bills and gas and arguments about who is going to work on getting car insurance and taking the trash out and why does the bathroom smell funny? And what about channel 11? "Why don't we get NBC?" and "Will you turn that down?". "Honey, I've got to get up early". When does it become this? Why does it have to? It fades me - dulls me. - Sabrina Ward Harrison
***
"you don't appreciate the chaos and absurdity of life on this planet. you don't understand irony, or ethnicity, or eccentricity, or poetry, or the simple joy of being a regular at the diner on your block. i love that. you don't drink coffee or alcohol. you don't over eat. you don't cry when you're alone. you don't understand sarcasm. you plod through life in a neat, colorless, caffeine free, dairy free, conflict free way. i'm bold and angry and tortured and tremendous and i notice when someone has changed their hair part, or when someone is wearing two very distinctly different shades of black or when someone changes the natural temperment of their voice on the phone. i don't give out empty praise. i'm not complacent or well-adjusted. i can't spend fifteen minutes breathing and stretching and getting in touch with myself. i can't spend three minutes finishing an article. i check my answering machine nine times every day and i can't sleep at night because i feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world and i wonder every day if i am making a difference and if i will ever express the greatness within me or if i will remain forever paralyzed by muddled madness inside my head. i've wept on every birthday i've ever had because life is huge and fleeting and i hate certain people and certain shoes and i feel that life is terribly unfair and sometimes beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable and i hate myself a lot of the time. the rest of the time i adore myself and i adore my life in this city and in this world we live in. this huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world." - Jessica Stein
***
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 | shebloomsatnight |  |
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